


Letters from the Atlantic

by sensational_legislational



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/F, Fluff, Humanstuck, Mutual Pining, Sea-based Separation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 23:38:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11679474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sensational_legislational/pseuds/sensational_legislational
Summary: When your girl's out at sea and you're stuck on land, the best way to communicate is by sending letters back and forth. In this short and fluffy work, Aradia Megido and Feferi Peixes do just that while reminiscing about their past and pining for each other. A lot. There's a lot of pining in this work. Enjoy my contribution to the arafef ship!





	1. Come on Home

**Author's Note:**

> This work is based on the song "Letters from the Atlantic" by The Arcadian Wild. It can be found at this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FBdTL5AfW0

_ Dearest Feferi, _

 

_ Aren’t you coming home anytime soon? It hasn’t even been a month and I’m already dreaming of the day you come back to me. In fact, I still watch the door just in case you walk through it. I keep imagining how I’d hug you, kiss you, and say that I missed you more than you could ever imagine. Because I really do! I don’t know how I can wait another year for you to return. _

_ Anyway, things around here haven’t changed in the few weeks you’ve been gone. I don’t know why they would. Nothing happens here. Everything is quiet, and I guess that’s why I like it here. But I think you already know that. _

_ Nights are getting lonely now. I wake up and expect to see you, but you’re not there. It’s cold outside. Are you keeping warm? The bed is always warm, even when you’re gone. Maybe you should join me soon. _

_ I love you. I guess I’m jealous of the sea now. It’s kept you from me! I miss you. _

 

_ Waiting for your return, _

_ ~Aradia _

 

Feferi always told me that she’d loved the ocean ever since she was a little kid. She would stare out her window for hours just watching the waves roll over each other. Her dream was to become a sailor, discovering every inch of the briny deep as she traveled.

Even after all these years, it always seems that the closer to the water she is, the happier she becomes. I never met that little girl, but in a way I can still see her. Every time Feferi is doing what she loves, she resurfaces and they become one beautiful, exuberant person. A person I miss very much.

My hand rests on the table, pen still cradled in it as I finish the last letter of my name. I sit back and reread my writing. Then I read it again. I sigh. My thoughts can’t translate directly to words. But Feferi knows me. Would she smile as she read the letter? I think so.

Feferi would smile at anything.

I contemplate adding something else to the letter, maybe a photo or a drawing. No. It’s past midnight. She wouldn’t be happy if she found out I stayed up too late just for her. I grasp the edge of the paper and fold it over. Carefully measuring it out, I crease the paper at the halfway point to create a neat fold. I hold it up to an envelope on the desk. Yes, this will fit. I ease the paper into the envelope, and I seal it.

A thunderclap startles me slightly. The rain taps on my window, almost beckoning me to the sea where it came from. I wish I could comply. The emptiness of the house, the bed, the night… It all needs someone else to be complete. Oh, well. I’ll be happier when Feferi comes back next year.

Next year. The thought stings my heart. Her 12-month contract is unbreakable. She has to serve as a second engineer on her freighter until those months are over. How am I going to stand waiting that long? I slump in my chair, thoughts of her coming back to my mind.

The thought of her is like a drug. It injects me with a euphoria that’s completely unique. It makes me relax and tighten up at the same time. I recall pictures, memories of her all at once. Her hands are soft and thin, but stronger than iron. Her eyes always surge with energy when she speaks to me, and they shimmer with the power of an ocean. She’s… all I think about anymore. It’s not like that’s different from any other part of my life, I think to myself.

I stare down at my hands. I never thought they were anything special, but Feferi never seemed to care. She would slip hers into mine as if they were two halves of a whole. I clench my fingers in a tight ball as I think about the amount of time I’ll spend without feeling her hand against mine. I interlock the fingers of my right hand with my left as a sort of substitute. A poor substitute. My own fingers don’t fit as well with each other as with Feferi’s.

The rain is slowing to a trickle outside my window. The soft lamplight seems to remind me to take care of myself. I need sleep, don’t I? I turn my head and gaze at the empty bed. It would be just me again tonight. Alone. Too alone for comfort.

I place the completed letter on the windowsill. I’ll send it tomorrow. For now, I just need to rest and stop thinking about things that hurt me. My only real problem is that the thing that hurts me is the thing I want more than anything.

It doesn’t matter. I’ll see her again soon.

Not soon enough.


	2. Sail With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi's response to Aradia's first letter.

_ My darling Aradia, _

 

_ I’m so glad to hear from you! You’re so sweet! I really miss you too. I’m glad nothing’s changed down there. Of course, you probably did send that letter like a week ago, but we both know that nothing happens there anyway. You said it yourself! _

_ Although… if you really do miss me that much, why don’t you just come with me when we dock in Norfolk? We’re stopping there in a month or two. We could be together! The captain would be totally fine with having you here with me. (by the way, Dan told me to call him Captain. He’s so pretentious haha) It’s kinda cold in the night, but when the sun is shining on the crew and the waves make those little crashing noises on the hull, you forget all about the bad stuff! _

_ It really does sound like you’re less happy than usual. If I could, I’d go back home and give you a big hug right now! Please consider coming on the ship with me. I think you’d like it more than you think. _

_ We’re docking in Barcelona next! _

 

_ I love you! _

_ ~Feferi _

 

My heart is still fluttering from reading Aradia’s letter. Does she really miss me that much? I feel so flattered that she loves me enough to devote… what was it? I pick up the letter again, scanning the words for the billionth time. Two thirds. Over two thirds of her letter talks about missing me! I clutch it to my chest, thanking the heavens for such a caring and beautiful girlfriend!

But I also feel kinda bad. I miss her too, but it sounds like she misses me more. And since it hurts to be away from her… imagine how much she hurts right now. I wish I could make her feel better or something, but what can I do? Send a letter? Yes. That’s what I’m doing.

The ship gently rocks from side to side, the way that would make many people seasick. Not me. I love the sea too much. It’s almost like it’s rocking me to sleep, even though it’s 8 in the morning. It must be operating in Virginia time, since it’s 2 in the morning back home. I wonder if Aradia is sleeping well right now. Knowing her, she is. She could sleep through an earthquake if she wanted.

Aradia always slept hard, but she never looked any less peaceful. I’m almost jealous of her pretty sleeping face, lips parted and dark hair trickling off her pillow like inky water. Wait, no! She dyed her hair blonde right before I left! I grin a little.

I’d never asked the reason, but I have a feeling she did it because she wanted to keep as much of me as possible. I don’t really understand. My sun-bleached hair isn’t very pretty in my opinion, but the color looks lovely on her! It perfectly complemented the dress she was wearing the day I left. I remember it perfectly. It was white and robin’s-egg blue. Her grandmother had given it to her as a gift, but she never liked the way it looked on her. I suppose everything worked out, then! She sparkled brighter than the sea that day. It hurt me to leave her there, but I have another life on the ocean.

And I really love her. I really do. But this is my dream job! To sail the open seas, free to go anywhere I want as long as I’m able! I mean, I’m still not exactly free. I have to stick to a schedule and do whatever the engineer tells me to, but at least I’m on the water.

Yeah, sometimes I still wish I was on my sailboat. I’m still not gonna let a few bad days get in the way of doing a job I like doing. Plus, it pays the bills and some. Maybe I’ll use that extra money for something special I have in mind. It’ll take a while, though. Diamonds are expensive!

I probably should have added more to my letter back to her. Maybe experiences I’d had, the place where we’re docked, how the sea looks this morning. But I’d stayed up so late last night! I could barely concentrate on what I was trying to say. Everything is so exciting, too! This is the first time I’ve been on a ship docked in Africa. I want to see more of Nigeria! The world is so big and bright and I can hardly stand staying on this boat for much longer!

I stand up and grab the letter and an envelope. I’m gonna need to send this before we leave the port. I hear footsteps above me, probably the captain and somebody else. I’d better hurry! We should be leaving in about an hour. I rush through the narrow metal hallway, sealing the letter as I go.

I am hit in the face with a blast of warm sea air the moment I set foot back on land. It’s no different from when we first docked and the crew all departed to be on land for several hours, but it’s still surprising. But there’s no time to be surprised! I need to get this letter delivered!

I can’t keep my girl waiting for much longer, now can I?


	3. I Can't Come Aboard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aradia details her feelings about the sea.

_ Dearest Feferi, _

 

_ Come on. You know why I can’t come with you. I love you so much, but I can’t stop being afraid! Fear isn’t something you can stop easily, Fef. I can’t be on the water. I’d freak out! The last thing you need in your life is a panicky girlfriend. I guess holding you all the time might make me forget, but you’ve got a job to do. I’m not gonna come with you. I’m sorry. But if it helps, I’ll definitely visit you in Norfolk. _

_ It’s nice back home. Spring is warming up, so it’s a great time of year to sit under a tree and read a book. Some days, when I miss you a lot, I’ll go to the park and just look up through the leaves at the sky. It’s the same sky you’re under, after all. It makes me feel like a small person in a big universe. Kinda like I’m pinned to the earth. And I’m completely fine with being safe on the ground, thank you very much. _

_ It hurts to be away from you. I don’t want you to worry about me or anything, but I feel kinda sad more often than when you were home. I want to say that I miss you, but that’s not a strong enough phrase. I’m not feeling artistic right now. Maybe I’ll find the words in my next letter. _

 

_ Wishing you the best even though I can’t come aboard, _

_ ~Aradia _

 

I remember the day we both found out I was afraid of the ocean.

It was our fifth, maybe sixth date. Feferi wanted to show off her nearest and dearest hobby to me, so I met her at the docks in the afternoon. Her sailboat was bigger than I expected, yet she insisted that it was only a small craft. I remember examining the great big billowing sails, streaks of fuschia breaking the plain white in slashes.

I had no experience on the sea, but I was very eager to see what it had in store for me. Feferi was ecstatic. I couldn’t tell back then, but upon reflection I can tell that she was nervous too. I would be too if I was showing off my favorite thing to a person important to me.

She leapt onto the boat like some kind of water nymph. She looked like one, too. Graceful, lithe, and immaculately beautiful. It made me doubt myself a little. She couldn’t think I was pretty, could she? Back then, I was so insecure about myself. She’s since made me feel a lot better all the time, but I was so worried about making a fool of myself if I slipped and fell off the pier halfway onto the sailboat. 

Fortunately, that didn’t happen. She took my hand and provided balance for me when I stepped on. It was the first time we had really held hands! I was so dumbfounded after that. Feferi laughed at the look on my face. I’d known this girl for about two or three months, and I hadn’t ever stopped loving her laugh! That’s when I knew that she was special.

I remember the warmth flowing to my face. It was like a cheesy movie or poorly written romance novel! But it was real. Fef’s hands on mine, her excited eyes, it was all real!

And yes, love is real and wonderful. But fear is just as existent.

The further out to sea we floated, the less relaxed I became. Feferi was all busy, running around the ship and pulling ropes and things without a care in the world. But I was sitting there in one place, trying not to look down into the water. It was an abyss that wanted to swallow me whole. A depth greater and more dangerous than anything I experienced in my normal life.

Feferi paused her action for a moment.

“Something wrong?” She said to me.

“No, it’s nothing. Keep going.”

“That doesn’t sound like nothing to me.” She sat down next to me in genuine concern. I don’t remember exactly what else we said. It was a long time ago. But when I told her I was afraid, she held perfectly still. She was in deep thought, finding a good response for me.

“Do you want to go back?” She said.

“Yeah,” I replied.

I spent the next week apologizing to her. I can’t help it, it’s my apologetic nature. She always denied that I got in the way of anything, but I never believed her. I felt like I was a burden on her. It wasn’t until several days after the sailboat incident that I believed that she really loved me.

That day, she said everything she needed to say in a little handwritten note that she pressed in the door of my screened-in porch. I still have it in a drawer somewhere. I’ve memorized the words over the years. Those words were as follows:

 

_ My darling Aradia, _

_ I feel like a little girl, leaving you a note like this! It’s almost embarrassing to say, but I feel like you don’t know how much I love you. You make the butterflies in my stomach go hundreds of miles an hour when I see you! I love you so much, Aradia. If you have any doubts about that, you can tell me when we meet up later today. Will you meet me in the park today at 6? I want to show you something. _

_ Can’t wait to see you tonight, _

_ ~Feferi _

 

This led to a picturesque scene on a park bench. There she was, waiting for me with a strange pile of papers lying next to her. I approached and she told me to sit down next to the pile of papers. I complied. She touched my hand and gazed into my eyes.

“I’ve written these every night since we met,” she said. “It was really all I could do to sort out what I felt.”

I picked up one of the papers to find a short paragraph written in her tall, soft handwriting. It detailed a fraction of Feferi’s sheer romantic emotion, perhaps saying something to the effect of “She makes me feel like nothing matters but me and her”.

It was all very cute and incredibly cheesy, but soon my search removed all doubt from my mind that she really, truly did love me. I remember poring over maybe twenty notes, each one giving a short account of how she felt about me. My eyes filled with tears, joyful tears of exquisite happiness.

I’d give anything to be reminded of her love. Because here, under the setting sun and the Virginia coastal breeze, I’m realizing that my sense of self-worth is deteriorating by the minute. The sinking feeling in my chest is pressing me into the ground, and not in a comfortable way. I’m becoming a little afraid for myself now. I was cripplingly lonely.

And she could cure me in an instant.


	4. I Was Made To Explore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi recounts the day she and Aradia met.

_ My darling Aradia, _

 

_ I’m sorry to hear that you won’t come with me. I miss you a lot! At least I’ll see you in Norfolk. That’ll tide us over to the end of my contract, right? No pun intended. _

_ The sea is definitely the place for me. I was made to explore! Of course, I’m not really exploring so much as being on a ship with a clear destination, but it sure feels like it. It fills me with hope to see the waves parted behind us! We’re delivering a hundred thousand tons of dry containers to Spain. A hundred thousand! That’s amazing! I don’t even know everything that’s on this ship. It could be super-secret spy gear or something. A full shipping container full of spy gear! Nah, that’s dumb. _

_ I’ve always wanted to go to Spain. It’s such a romantic country, don’t you think? The port is so crowded. And it’s a lot less warm than Lagos. I can’t stop thinking about you. It is the land of your heritage, after all! _

_ We’re docking in Boston next. _

 

_ Te amo mucho! _

_ ~Feferi _

 

I smiled while writing the bit about Spain. It’s sort of a running joke between Aradia and I to imply that she’s from Spain. She isn’t. It dates all the way back to when we first met, and it’s really a funny story! I recount it in my head again, recreating the scene like a chapter of a book.

I was working this lousy nine-to-five office job in Richmond about a year ago. I hated it almost as much as I hated the bus. It was always crowded and full of people. I usually like people, but mostly just my friends. I know where my friends have been. Strangers on the bus? Not so much!

So it was another day on the way to Richmond. I’d dragged myself out of bed, taken way too long to make my hair look decent, and almost missed the bus. I pulled myself onto the bus and tried to find an acceptable seat.

It looked like I was gonna be lucky that day! There were two seats next to each other in the back of the bus, one against the back wall. I could avoid sitting next to a stranger. I happily took that seat. It made my day just a little bit better.

And then, just as the bus began moving, she was there.

I don’t know if she got on at the same time as me or what, but she was slowly walking down the length of the bus, looking for a good seat.

She was  _ hot. _

And she took the seat right next to me.

I could hardly contain myself. I think my face turned red, or at least it felt like it did. Who was she? Why hadn’t I seen her before? Was I going to talk to her?

Her leg accidentally touched mine. She moved it away without making eye contact, and she slouched slightly. Everything in me was screaming in panic except my mouth! She was so pretty! Her dark skin, her embroidered clothes… I had to talk to her.

Could she even speak English?

No, that was a stupid question. Well… would it hurt to ask? Several people were on their phones. It wasn’t dead silent. I could totally ask.

“Hey…” I squeaked. She turned to look at me and I instinctively gulped. “Do you… do you speak English?”

“... Excuse me?”  _ I screwed up I screwed up I screwed up… _

“Oh, sorry, I thought you were from Spain!” Yeah, Spanish speakers have dark skin, right?

“Um… I’m not.”

“Yeah, I can… see that.”

“Did you want something?” Oh man. She was getting defensive.

“Yeah, I um… no. I mean… yeah, no.” I giggled, trying to mask how awkward that just was. It didn’t work. Never laugh if you’re in an awkward situation.

“Okay...?” Ugh. I wasn’t gonna forgive myself anytime soon for that.

She ignored me for the rest of the bus ride while I simmered in regret. Good thing I wouldn’t see her again!

Until lunch.

The local coffee shop didn’t have a lot of people in it, but when I went to sit down after placing my order, there she was on the opposite side of the shop.

She was looking at me with those deep brown eyes for a split second. Once she saw me look over to her, she quickly turned her head away. I thought she had to be so annoyed! Why did I have to do such a white-girl thing as a first impression?

“Order for Aradia!” the barista called.

Aradia. What a pretty name. Unusual, like mine. She glanced over at me again. This time, she didn’t seem annoyed. Maybe it was her eyebrows or something? She almost looked like she wanted to speak to me. Was it possible?

We spent both our entire meals trying to peek at each other without the other noticing. She finished far before me, but she didn’t leave. She just sat there, waiting for someone. At least, it looked like she was waiting for someone.

Maybe that someone was me.

What if it was?

I couldn’t take this anymore. I had to go and talk to her. I just had to. I stood up, almost tripping over my chair. I threw away my sandwich wrapper and walked toward her.

My heart almost stopped when she looked up at me.

“Hey, um… I’m sorry about earlier… on the bus…”

“No, that’s… fine. I get that sometimes. Sorry I was kinda defensive though.”

“You don’t need to apologize, I made a white girl mistake.”

“Yeah. I mean… not like I’m agreeing, but…” She closed her eyes, never finishing that sentence.

“So, uh… can I… get your phone number?” She looked so surprised when I said that.

“My… phone number?”

“I mean, unless you don’t want to, that’s fine-”  
“No, no, it’s… fine! Here, I’ll write it on this wrapper here… oh… do you… have a pen?”

“Oh, yeah, I do. Just lemme…” I rummaged through my work bag to find a pen. I could tell she was still looking at me. I dug it out and handed it over.

“Thank you.” She scribbled down a series of numbers, tore off the part of the wrapper with the number on it, and handed it to me.

“Thanks, um… what’s your name?” I knew her name already. I just didn’t want to be creepy.

“Aradia. What’s your name?”

“Feferi.”

And just like that, I got a girlfriend. All it took was a racist comment and a silent lunch!

My writer’s brain loves writing and rewriting this scene. It’s just so cute and perfect, plus I don’t have to make it up. I’m not very good at writing, but that memory has always inspired me. 

There’s an extra paper on this desk here, perfect for writing a small note. I take my pen and write a precious few words. “She gives me wings, and they’re made to fly.”

I smile. It’s been a while since I’ve written a note like this! I should send this to her along with the letter.

She’d be happy to see another note after so long.


	5. Nights Here Get Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aradia isn't doing too well back home.

_ Feferi, _

 

_ I can’t do this. _

_ I really can’t. I’ve had enough. Every day I hate myself more and more. I haven’t eaten today. Every time I think of you, I get so scared and bitter and it feels so awful to be away from you. I’m sorry I have to be this way, Fef. I’m so sorry for what I make you do all the time. _

_ Feferi, I can’t keep up a relationship with someone so far away all the time. I desperately need someone who will always be there for me. These letters are all I have left of you! I’m not even sure if you love me anymore. _

_ I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m making you choose between me and the sea. I’ll totally understand when you leave me forever. _

_ It’s your call now. I’m sorry. _

 

_ ~Aradia _

 

Tears stream down my face. They splash all over the desk, my shirt, my sleeves. I can’t write any more. The letter is so short, but that’s all I have left. I can’t… I can’t do this.

My entire body convulses in ugly sobbing. I can tell it’s going to hurt tomorrow, but definitely not as bad as it hurts right now. Why am I so clingy? Why do I have to be the way I am forever? I press my eyelids together tightly and just cry and cry and cry…

I must have been crying for over an hour.

I lift my head slowly. My mouth is dry, but getting water seems like too much work. I sit here, just waiting for the motivation to do anything.

It never comes. All I feel is nothing. Less than nothing. This isn’t right. I’m supposed to be feeling. I’m supposed to be alive. I desperately want to be nothing. To dissolve into the void of space, maybe. Just to not be here, trapped in this body without feeling!

All this over a girl? I mean, really. I thought I was better than that. Funny how the world works. It gives you the girl of your dreams and takes her away. Just typical.

Did I take my meds today?

I rub my eyes with tired hands. I shouldn’t forget stuff like that. Who cares. One day out of how many others that Feferi would be gone? I’ll remember tomorrow for sure.

Ugh. She won’t be happy when she reads what I’ve written. Should I throw it out? No, she needs to see the state I’m in. It is kind of embarrassing, but it’s true. I need her more than we both thought. It still kills me to send something so depressing. I’ve seen her sad only a few times, and none of them were pretty.

She was sad when she left. At least, she looked a bit down. I can’t be sure of anything anymore. If the world is determined to betray me, why would she be any different? For all I know, she could be hiding anything.

No. That’s a dangerous thought, Aradia. You talked about this with your therapist. You can’t think stuff like that.

I need to get water.

I heave myself up onto my feet. Emotions may be traces of chemicals produced in the brain, but they sure feel heavy. Gravity really sucks sometimes. I walk to the kitchen in a very deliberate fashion.

What was I here for again? Water. That’s right, water. I take a Solo cup from a stack on the countertop. I really should reorganize this kitchen. I should put that on my to-do list. I hold the cup under the kitchen faucet and pull its handle.

The water is clear and cold. Some of it spills over my hand as I fill up my cup. I hold it with my other hand and wipe my damp hand over my face. The water begins evaporating on my skin, leaving a pleasant cooling sensation. Well, at least more pleasant than before. I set the cup down on the countertop and splash my face with more water.

Maybe if I could just learn to love the water, I could be with Fef more?

I don’t know. I’m so tired. I don’t know if I can fall asleep, though.

Cup in hand, I walk out to the front porch. The night air is slightly chilled and the crickets are singing into the night. The screen around the porch has a kind of diffused glow in the moonlight that only a man-made material can make. I remember trying to fit things into the tiny holes in the mesh when I was little. I’d bring out pointed things like pencils or twigs when I was bored and try and jam them into the screen.

Mom never yelled at me for it, but she always told me to stop it. It would definitely cost us if I had punctured it, and this house was practically all we could afford in the first place.

I’m glad Mom didn’t have to provide for me after I turned 20. What she left behind was enough for me to keep this house when she passed. Barely.

I ease myself into a lawn chair, careful not to spill the water I’m carrying. Maybe I should quit one of my jobs. I think the stress might be too much for me in the state I’m in. Or maybe I’ll feel better in the morning and quit whining. I take a sip of the water. It tastes bitter, but I need it anyway.

The moon shines down on me, compelling me to take care of myself. Why should I? Probably because Fef would be sad if I didn’t.

But what did I care?

No. I care too much.

My eyelids droop. I should probably get to bed and try to sleep. I get up out of my chair, take one last sideways glance at the moon, and vanish into my house.

 

The mailman pulls up to my street and walks to my front door. It’s been about two weeks since I sent my letter. Was this Fef’s response? I make my way to the front room and wait a few seconds. I don’t want to force social interaction onto myself today.

I hear the mail truck drive away. Time to pick up what he had left. I push my way out of the front door and immediately notice a single white envelope stuck in the screen door just feet in front of me. My heart almost stops. This is it.

I open the letter once I get inside. The paper inside the envelope has only a little writing in it, unmistakably in Feferi’s handwriting. It reads:

 

_ My darling Aradia, _

 

_ I’m so sorry! I had no idea you were like this. _

_ I’m coming home, Aradia. _

 

_ We’re docking in Norfolk next. _

 

_ See you there, _

_ ~Feferi _


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time after the events of the previous chapter, Feferi and Aradia share a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see another chapter between last chapter and this epilogue, make sure to comment and let me know!

“Are you sure about this?”

“Just don’t look down! You said it yourself that you’d be fine!”

“Yeah, but what if I freak out again?”

“We’ll take it slowly, okay?”

“...Okay.” She helps me into the sailboat, and my legs start shaking. “Fef…” I say instinctively.

“You’re doing great, Aradia! One step at a time!” The boat rocks beneath us, throwing off my balance. I stumble a little. “Sit down! You haven’t gotten your sea legs yet!”

“Do I even  _ have _ those?” I ask, smiling nervously.

“Not yet you don’t! Now, close your eyes and get used to the rocking for a minute.”

“Okay,” I say as I tilt my head up and shut my eyelids.

“Keep those eyes closed!” Feferi says unnecessarily.

“I am,” I chuckle. I hear Feferi rushing from port to starboard to try and get the boat to rock a little more.

“Still closed?” She asks.

“Should they be open?”

“No, no! Keep them closed!” She’s coming closer to me.

“All right!” I see the light in front of my eyelids come into shadow. “Is this part of every sailor’s orientation?”

“Hmm, not exactly,” says Feferi coyly, much closer than before. “Do you think you’re used to the movement of the boat now?”

“Not really,” I say, smiling.

“Good,” she says. She leans down and kisses me long and hard on the lips. We break away a few times to laugh in the duration of the kiss, but it doesn’t make it any less special or pure and real! Feferi pulls away.

“Can I open my eyes now?” I ask.

“Wait, wait!” She says. There’s silence for a couple seconds, then she speaks. “Now you can.”

My eyes flick open, and I look toward Feferi. I expected her face to be higher up, but her face is actually a bit lower than eye level for me. I turn my gaze downward, and…

She’s down on one knee. In her hands is a small box, and in that box is a simple, shining gold ring. It glints in the afternoon sun, matching the glint of the water behind her.

I’m almost hyperventilating!

“Aradia?”

“Yes?!”

“Will you sail with me to the ends of our sea? Metaphorically?” I embrace her, almost knocking the ring out of her hand.

“Yes! Yes! Of course! I’ve been waiting for you to ask!” I hold her tighter. Am I crying? Yes, I’m crying!

“Thank you, Aradia! Thank you, just… so much! Oh, here! Try it on!” I pull away from her, hardly able to contain myself. She hands the box to me, and I extract the ring. It bears a simple design with no jewels. It’s so beautiful! I slip it on. It’s a little small for my ring finger, but I put it on anyway.

Feferi chuckles. “Teaches me to guess your ring size. The jewelry store refunds wrong sizes anyway.”

“It’s fine! It’s… more than fine! I love you! I love you I love you I love you!”

“I love you too.” We embrace again.

“How did you afford it?” I ask with teary eyes.

“I’ve been saving up for a really long time. I wanted to get you diamonds, but when I quit my job I stopped getting that much income so I just… bought it with what I had.”

“Oh, Fef! It’s beautiful! You’re beautiful!”

“Thanks, babe,” she laughs. “Do you think you’re ready to leave the dock?”

“Metaphorically or physically?”

“Both!”

“Well, one for sure. The other… maybe.”

“That’s good enough for me! Let’s go! Wait, let’s go  _ slowly _ . That’s better.”

“I love you, Fef.”

“I love you too!”

We launch into the sea, and I stare at the sky. I never thought that the two could be so alike, but here I was! My  fiancée at my side, infinity above us and infinity beneath us. Fef is holding my hand despite the distance she needs to move occasionally. Our touch unites us, and we are so in love and it feels so right!

I could get used to this.

It looks like the universe loves me after all.


End file.
